Technology is a complex and powerful tool. At times it is fascinating and mind boggling, but at the end of the day it is still a tool, one which parents now have in their parenting arsenal. What makes technology interesting to research is the fact that use of this tool in and of itself influences future versions and uses of itself. As we become more familiar with technology (by using it), we create new ways in which it can embed itself in our daily lives.
As a result, parents have an enormous responsibility on their hands, to teach their children how to safely and responsibly engage with technology…as a tool. In prior week’s blog entries, I’ve discussed the potential of technology, and now my attention turns to technology use and vulnerable populations…
…specifically children and adolescents.
Research has demonstrated that within children, adolescents and emerging adults, use of technology changes over time based upon social, cognitive developmental needs. We see that technology enables individuals previously unknown to each other to creatively collaborate and come up with ideas that previously had not been possible. When used properly, technology can unleash unlimited creative potential among humans and develop powerful networks. I had an epiphany a few years back regarding this potential, as it relates to children…specifically my own.
Several years ago, my oldest daughter and I attended a Mom and Me workshop regarding adolescence and how to successfully thrive during these tumultuous years. My then 10-year-old and I learned about peer pressure and how to be strong…and I learned what was coming down the pike (in terms of parental challenges). It raised my awareness of what was to come, internet and all.
At one point during the workshop, one of the speakers raised up her phone during her speech and explained…”This is the new playground for our kids. I have chosen to let my child play on this digital playground, but in a supervised way so I can share with her and show her the ways on how to play safely”. Instantly it changed my “avoid social media at all costs because it’s dangerous” opinion. Right then and there I decided that I too wanted to engage in these conversations with my kids…learning with them…together…about technology.
I wanted to engage with her as a curious and enthusiastic ten-year-old, while she is still open to learning, still wanting to spend time with me, so that by the time my surly 16-year-old emerged (and I’m not nearly as cool as before), she is trained to adhere to safe online behaviors, and treat her peers with kindness and courtesy. In this way, I will have been able to make an impact and direct a trajectory toward more positive risk-taking behaviors (such as entrepreneurship or building a strong online network) as opposed to negative ones (like online bullying, sexting or worse).
Just as learning to drive a car requires correct assessment of a physical environment, complex decision making and real-world practice, so does learning to safely and effectively use technology. In the same way that kids need help learning the rules of the road and the complexities involved with decision making and safe choices when they begin to drive, they need to understand such complexities and contexts of interacting online.
There are many pitfalls and dangerous situations which emerge in both situations on a moment’s notice. It takes a looooong time to get adept at driving, so as a society we provide much training and extended learning environments which gradually expand from highly structured, highly supervised situations into independence. In this same way, it is important to introduce children to the decision making required to enter a digital world. It starts in baby steps and grows to build to bigger and broader worlds.
For example, watching movies and listening to music together via digital technology gives parents the opportunity to discuss what is real and what is fake and enables parents to teach children how and what to filter out of their minds. What pop artists do in music to idolize sexuality and bad risk-taking behavior turns into conversation nuggets to where we can explain the realities of life, asking kids if they believe that the way that these ads, videos and songs portray life as it really is.
It gives us a platform to recognize the fantasy that the media project (or the fake Facebook persona perhaps other people project) and enables us to explain that no one is perfect. When technology is seen as a tool, parents can explain life and expose the “fake” realities and proverbial dark alleys on the internet for what they are.
When we support our children’s passions and help them embrace positive risk-taking behaviors, we challenge them to go beyond their comfort zone to achieve excellence. They still get butterflies from taking a risk, only now it is because they are chasing a dream and not chasing a demon down its hole. We also have opportunities to help build their independence, validate their identity, explain about some of the more difficult topics of adulthood, and empower their self confidence among their peers when they are challenged.
For example, my younger daughter loves Minecraft. She built an entire replica of our home (complete with the stack of papers I have to grade which went up through the clouds). JNone of her friends play Minecraft, and in fact they began making fun of her because of it. After coming home sad and deflated and considering whether or not to abandon something she loved, I got involved.
So…off we go to show her the future value of her passion.
I took her to FoxSports on a tour with one of my classes (yes, I did take her out of school to do it, because I believe in her gift and value her talent and passion). She saw first-hand for herself what her passion could look like when she gets older. She was immediately attracted to the computer technology, and she got the chance to talk with adults who also loved computers and cartoons and gaming…only now they were called animators, digital artists, getting paid money to do their craft, working for a global technology company. She could see the future value of her interest, and was very excited with what she saw. Needless to say, she’s still playing Minecraft, and is dismissive of the peer critique now.
By embracing technology and showing her the positive side of this world, she hopefully will be more attracted to its opportunities, as opposed to its pitfalls. Hopefully after our tour, she’s in a much better mental position, as well to be able to blow off the unfortunate and ill-informed peer pressures. I’m embracing her interest in technology to help her confidence grow and to give us fun areas of activity to do together.
My point here is that kids are meant to be creative, and for the first time in history now kids can express their creativity online. When we give them tech without teaching them what to do with it or how they can effectively use it to enhance their lives, we do them a disservice. It is like handing them keys to a car without giving them the learning needed to be a successful and safe driver.
In addition, when we as parents and teachers filter out our kid’s passions or cut them off from “too much technology”, we do our children a disservice and undervalue their interests and undervalue their potential. We teach them that who they are and what they like is not worthy. When we turn off their technology instead of joining them on the digital playground, we cut ourselves off from key opportunities to teach our kids how to be safe and take positive risks in an online world.
What we should be doing instead is stepping forward to help kids embrace their curiosity about technology, and (even though at times it is a pain in the backside) structure positive learning environments and take the time to build “yes” environments in the complex technological world. These lessons are complex, and they take a long time and many conversations to explain.
If we begin these conversations when our kids are young and open and willing to listen, we are doing them a much better service and taking the amount of time it takes to teach them valuable digital literacy skills. We help them positively experiment with an online identity, and express it in a positive and healthy way. In this sense we open the digital window of opportunity when we can help them learn, as opposed to preventing this window of opportunity to open, only to find they force it open during the surliness of their teenage years - and from ignorance (due to lack of digital literacy) they find they have jumped out of that very window of opportunity and are plummeting to the bottom of difficult situations they’ve not been taught to avoid.
# # # About the Author: Mary Beth is graduating this spring with a Ph.D. at Troy University in Sport Management, where her research interests involve organizational capacity in sport. She is the Sport Management Department Chair at Pfeiffer University, a liberal arts institution near Charlotte, NC. She has 15 years experience as a Marketing Director for an LPGA tourney, Marketing Director for a US Olympic National Governing Body, sponsorship sales executive for an NBA sports and entertainment property, VP of Marketing and Ticket Sales for a hockey team, and she aided press operations during the 1996 Olympic Games as an Interview Room Manager. Mary Beth enjoys thinking about new ideas and solving business problems. Follow her on Twitter @mb_chambers or LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/marybethchambersphd
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